A Winning Mind Set Tip Rev It Up? Or Turn It Down? By Kevin Seaman
What we say and how we say it has an amazing power sub-consciously in our determination and perception of the events in our life. I had a friend say to me the other day, “I have GOT to go to the Gym. I have a really hard time motivating myself. I’ve been putting it off for two weeks, and I just can’t make any more excuses, I have to go.” As I reflected on this statement and the message it projects, I was immediately prompted to remit, maybe you just need to change, “I have got to go to the Gym to I get to go to the Gym?”
He stared at me with disbelief and said, “You’re right!” I’m acting like it’s a dirty job that I have to do, not something I love.” There was no doubt in my mind as to why he has a hard time motivating himself. When you begin to perceive something you love to do as a chore, you naturally reduce your drive to do it.
Some of these annoying human qualities edge their way into my life as well. I also sometimes find myself using words, metaphors or phrases that distort or exaggerate the meaning of something and it absolutely affects the way I view that task or event at that moment. At that moment I will stop and correct myself, using a positive, empowering twist to my phrase and it always brings a smile to my face.
Let’s look at our work time for example. You can always tell when someone dislikes their job by the way they view time on the job. Do you have four more hours before you get to leave or is your perspective “I only have four more hours left to finish this?” Do you have to do this or do you have the opportunity to do this?
Now, let’s focus on competition! Have you ever amplified the meaning of an event with a phrase like, “I got crushed, they killed us or they trashed us! “How about, we were beaten? Now, let’s think about what these statements imply? What sort of images do they conjure up?
What if those were replaced with a de-amplified version, a more realistic description, like, “We didn’t play to our potential, I learned a lot from my match, or I’ve got some things to work on.” These statements portray a different image and a different emotion, don’t they?
When we use empowering, solution-oriented statements, they help us see how we can improve our outcome. Negative amplification of events have an opposite affect, because they are problem focused, rather than solution oriented by nature, they have a tendency to make things seem much worse than they were and make it difficult to move to a solution. It’s a little hard to recover and shake it off when you’re CRUSHED, KILLED, TRASHED or BEATEN.
It’s also very hard to ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” while licking your emotional wounds, when you’ve subjected yourself to these colorful terms.
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones,
you’ll start having positive results.”
How can you use this?
Pay attention to the metaphors and analogies you use to describe events for one week. Pay particular attention to the figures of speech that you use. The reason is, that while some of these are empowering, others can be quite debilitating. Did you get yelled at or was there a difference of opinion? Did you get dumped on or confided in? Was it the worst day or challenging? Are you at the end of your rope or looking for more creative solutions? Are you hanging in there, not too bad, surviving? Or feeling awesome, great, terrific! You get the picture. Now, for that ONE WEEK de-amplify the terms that exaggerate the meaning of your negative experiences and amplify the areas that need a boost. In life we don’t really experience reality, we experience our representation of (our) reality. What representation do you want to experience?
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
The Bottom Line: Remember in life, we don’t experience reality. We experience our representation of reality. It is how we Re-present our experiences, that determines our outlook on those experiences. Ultimately, it is your outlook that creates your Winning Mind Set!
Have an incredible Life!
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.”
Sifu Kevin Seaman teaches both Thai Boxing and Filipino Kali on Monday and Wednesday nights at our main Tai Kai location in Liverpool. He is a Master Coach with 40 years of experience. Training in his classes will broaden your skill base and sharpen both your physical and mental training. His books are available at the front desk.